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Welcome to My Musings

Where I share insights that have impacted me, thoughts on personal growth, and actionable strategies to help you navigate career and life transitions.

Today: Comparing yourself isn’t going to get you anywhere faster - or happier.

I recently read about something called Oubaitori.

Loosely translated, it’s a Japanese concept that describes how each tree blooms at its own pace.

But what it really speaks to, I think, is the comparison trap—something many of us fall into when navigating career growth, life transitions, or simply trying to move forward in a meaningful way.

As (often) attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
It’s hard to enjoy anything—let alone the hard work of building a career, starting over, or just getting through the day—when you’re constantly looking at others and thinking, “They have it so much better than I do.”

This is where Oubaitori offers a powerful reframe.

The trees aren’t comparing themselves to one another.
Each one is simply growing—doing its thing—while the others do theirs.
At their own pace. Without judgment. Without envy.
Without thinking there’s a right or wrong, better or worse way to grow.

They are, simply, growing.

The Problem With Career Comparison

And yet… comparison is hard to avoid, especially in professional or creative circles.

That colleague made partner before you.
That neighbour built your dream house sooner.
That cousin is living the life you imagined you’d be living by now.

It’s difficult not to measure your worth or success against theirs.

We are, after all, biologically wired to label, judge, and rank—it’s part of how we survived.
But when it comes to personal development, this comparison often leads to discouragement, burnout, or imposter syndrome.

For those of us who are strivers—ambitious, creative, capable—the more we achieve, the more we question: Am I where I’m supposed to be?

A Growth Mindset Isn’t Just About Getting Ahead

The truth is: everyone grows differently. Everyone arrives at their clarity, confidence, or fulfillment in their own time.

Yes, you have your own path.
Yes, you’re supposed to grow in your own way.
But knowing that, and embodying that, are two different things.

So if you’ve been caught lately in the comparison trap, here are a few simple self-compassion practices that might help:

Tree Rings

Draw a cross-section of a tree trunk—just simple concentric circles. Let each ring represent a year or a phase of your life. Label a few with milestones, transitions, or lessons. Then ask: What was growing in me then? What season am I in now?

Compare & Compassion

Next time you catch yourself in career comparison or envy, pause. Write down what triggered it. Then ask: What might they be struggling with that I can’t see? Finish with: “Like me, they’re trying to be okay.”

Oubaitori Walk

Take a slow walk—ideally among trees or plants. Notice how each one grows in its own way: tall, twisted, sparse, full. None are rushing. Say to yourself: “This is what growing looks like.” Let that be enough.

If You’re Really in It…

If you're getting stuck around your work or career and want to explore some of these ideas more deeply, I write about this stuff regularly here.

And if you’re in an organization facing these challenges—or just want someone to walk with you through it - let’s talk.

See you next time.

Oubaitori, Comparison, and the Pace of Personal Growth