The Duck-Leg Syndrome: Why You Can’t Be Present (and What to Do Instead)
Read time: 6 minutes
Welcome to My Musings
Where I share insights that have impacted me, thoughts on personal growth, and actionable strategies to help you navigate career and life transitions.
Today: When your mind won’t stop paddling, presence is the first thing to drown.
We’ve all heard the duck metaphor.
Above the surface: smooth, serene, gliding effortlessly.
Below the surface: chaos—webbed feet paddling like mad just to stay afloat.
I was speaking to someone yesterday—we’ll call him “X”—and he described his life exactly like that duck. From the outside, calm and composed. But inside, especially in conversation with others, his mind was racing. Thoughts firing at full speed. A mental scramble to keep up, interpret, analyze, respond.
The result?
He wasn’t really there. He was forgetting names. Missing key parts of conversations. Losing sight—if he ever had it—of what the other person cared about in the first place.
When Your Brain Tries to Outrun the Moment
This is more common than we think.
The brain tries to process life while it’s happening. It wants to make meaning, craft the perfect response, evaluate every move—in real time.
For me, it’s one of the hardest things: staying present without trying to optimize or figure it all out as it unfolds. It's like watching a concert through your phone instead of actually being at the concert. You're thinking about how it looks, how it will be perceived, whether you’ll share the video later.
Meanwhile, the moment is passing you by.
The Toll of Duck-Leg Syndrome
Let’s call it what it is: Duck-Leg Syndrome—that exhausting need to perform inner gymnastics while appearing cool and collected.
It's not physical pain. But it is draining. And it usually comes with a mental soundtrack like:
“You’re doing this wrong.”
“Why aren’t you more impressive/more articulate/more...something?”
“They’re judging you.”
“Say something smart. Now.”
That soundtrack doesn’t help you be present—it pulls you further away.
Dancing, Overthinking, and the Fear of Looking Stupid
Think of a reluctant dancer. Are they really a bad dancer? Maybe. Probably not as bad as they think.
But the real issue? The thoughts: “How do I look?” or “Am I doing this right?”
Same thing at concerts. You see people recording the show instead of experiencing it. They're not in the moment—they're managing it. Capturing it. Thinking about it. The moment, meanwhile, is gone.
The truth is, actual enjoyment is diminished by constant self-monitoring. The more we try to understand and react to life as it happens, the less we actually live it.
So...What Do You Do?
Here’s the tricky part: I’m not offering advice. There’s no five-step method here. Learning to be present is a lifelong practice.
But in my conversation with X, we did land somewhere useful.
Presence, for him, didn’t come from thinking more clearly—it came from sensing more deeply.
He learned to tune into his body. Emotions. Sensations. The “inner vibe,” for lack of a better term. That quiet awareness grounded him far more than his racing thoughts ever could.
He didn’t need to jump in with a brilliant response the second someone stopped talking. He could let the space between them breathe. Let the moment hang. And in doing so, actually be there.
If Duck-Leg Syndrome feels familiar, you’re not alone. For me, it shows up on the dance floor. For you, it might be public speaking, networking, or even ordering dinner.
Whatever the situation, the invitation is the same:
Let the duck rest.
Let your thoughts soften.
Let presence—not performance—be your guide.
If You’re Really in It…
If you're getting caught up in the mental gymnastics around your work or career and want to explore some of these ideas more deeply, I write about this stuff regularly here.
And if you’re in an organization facing these challenges—or just want someone to walk with you through it - let’s talk.
See you next time.
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