When Will It Be Perfect Enough?

Read time: 5 minutes

Welcome to My Musings

Where I share insights that have impacted me, thoughts on personal growth, and actionable strategies to help you navigate career and life transitions.

Today: Perfectionism, Freeze Response and The Bear.

© FX

I am into Season 4 of The Bear.

Yes, I have my quibbles with the show and its writing. In many ways, in my view, it’s jumped the shark.

But you didn’t come here for TV reviews. And you didn’t come here for spoilers. What follows might be considered a spoiler, so—you’ve been warned.

There is a character in the show—Richie, played by Ebon Moss-Bachrach—who will not let his ex-wife or her new husband come to the very upscale, constantly tortured restaurant that he now manages with his cousin (and a hilarious cast of other characters), called The Bear.

They keep asking, “When can we come in to eat?” And his response is always the same: “Not yet—but when it’s perfect, I’ll let you know and then you are more than welcome to dine with us.”

It seems understandable—Richie wants things to be just right for those he really cares about. And yes, he’s working out some other demons internally—proving his worth to a wife who left him and a family who has historically viewed him as somewhat of a joke.

But what’s this really about?

Why is it that so many people—especially high-achievers navigating career transitions—know on an intellectual level that they’re capable of taking the next step… and yet, emotionally, they freeze?

They hesitate. They stall. They tell themselves it’s not the right time, or that more preparation is needed.

The Roots of Perfectionism

The word “perfect” has its roots in the Latin perficere, meaning “to do or make, completely.” So “perfect” originally meant “to complete” or “to bring to completion.” In other words, perfecting something simply means finishing it—not making it flawless.

So then, in Richie’s case, at what point will he know that the restaurant is “complete enough” to be shared with others?

Or perhaps you’re wondering:

• At what point will I know that my current project is done?

• That my personal growth is far enough along to take the leap?

• That my career pivot is “ready” enough to act on?

How do we know when we’re done waiting?

The Real Reason People Stay Stuck

As Brianna Wiest writes in her book The Mountain is You, “Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.” Meaning: you need to do, to know. Thinking about it longer isn’t going to bring you much more insight into whether you’re ready.

In my experience coaching people through big life transitions and professional reinventions, one pattern keeps showing up:
People don’t move forward because they’re afraid the next step won’t be perfect.

They’ve spent years building success. The next thing has to work. It has to feel right. Otherwise… what?

→ They might feel like a failure.
→ They might have to admit the pivot didn’t work.
→ They might risk shame, disappointment, or visibility.

There are a lot of conclusions being jumped to in that thinking.

Put another way—perfectionism is a mask for the freeze response.

The Psychology of Freezing

When someone avoids taking the next step, it’s not because they’re lazy or unclear—it’s often because trying feels emotionally dangerous. Like:

“If I try and fail, I’ll have to face that I’m not enough.”

So they freeze. They get stuck in “preparation mode,” “research mode,” “idea mode,” or “potential mode”—but never move into action.

Here’s how that usually plays out:

• A past failure or high-stakes pressure (often early in life) teaches the person that trying = pain.

• That experience gets stored somatically, in the body.

• Now, when faced with any real effort or exposure, the body defaults to freeze.

To avoid panic, the mind says:

• “Wait until it’s perfect.”

• “You’re not ready yet.”

• “This needs more thinking.”

It feels like you're in control—but it's actually a clever form of learned helplessness.

In Richie’s case, and in many real-world examples, the freeze response is a form of emotional protection.

Staying stuck feels safer than risking success, visibility, or vulnerability.

The True Cost of Staying Frozen

The tragedy is: when we keep ourselves frozen—consciously or not—we miss out on all the good that could come from moving forward.

Whether it’s launching a new business, leaving an unfulfilling job, making a bold creative choice, or asking for what you actually want—staying in freeze mode robs you of momentum and meaning.

How to Break Free from the Freeze Response

Here are three approaches I use regularly in my coaching practice to help people move through perfectionism, fear, and paralysis.

1. Tiny Risks, Taken Daily (Brianna Wiest)

“You build confidence by surviving a series of small risks.”

Start small. Set a timer and research your next idea for 10 minutes. Draft an email. Make a single call. The action doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to happen.

2. Build Somatic Agency (Dr. Rick Hanson)

“Know what agency feels like in easy ways… Reach for the salt. Congratulate yourself.”

Reconnect with your body. Practice micro-movements that rebuild the muscle of action:

• Track the freeze state.

• Increase vitality through breath, movement, or rest.

• Reinforce action with celebration—even for tiny steps.

3. The Seventy Percent Rule (Oliver Burkeman)

When you’re 70% happy with your work—launch it.

Waiting for 100% is perfectionism in disguise.
Acting at 70% helps you tolerate uncertainty, push past internal resistance, and start building confidence through real-world momentum.

Over time, you strengthen the belief that you can act—even when things aren’t flawless.

Ask Yourself:

What’s happening for you when you read this?

• Where are you saying “Not yet”?

• Where are you frozen in preparation?

• Where is your perfectionism disguising fear?

The next move probably won’t be perfect. But it might be complete enough.

And it might be exactly what gets you unstuck.

Ready to stop waiting for perfect?

If this resonated—if you're frozen at the edge of something new—I help people like you move through the fog of perfectionism and into real, forward motion.

Sometimes, all it takes is one good conversation to start thawing out.

If you're ready to explore what's next (even at 70%), you can reach me here.

Or, if you're not ready to talk but want to keep reflecting, join my newsletter. It’s where I share more stories, tools, and thoughts to help you move with meaning—even when things aren’t perfect.